Hey, Ma

Hey, Ma!

What did you do with the old home? It just doesn't feel right. It looks different. Everything is out of place, what happened to it? Who are these strangers? What happened?

We have discussed often going back to a former employer, but we really never concentrated on the emotional letdown that occurs when we first walk back in the door as a “re-activated” employee or paid agent and not as an applicant or in some cases supplicant for rehire.

You would think that the feeling of elation we feel when we are first told of our “re-hire” would continue as we walked in the door for the second “first” time, in many cases it does not. Many other emotions do flood back in, but one of them is not elation. Unease, embarrassment, uncertainty, lack of trust and just plain anger are amongst these other that come to mind as we park in the lot and walk to the “old” building.

No matter how many times I tell my clients that their emotions often rule their transition period, they more than often don't accept that concept. They far too often refuse to understand that you can never go home again. You can be reemployed by a former employer, but regardless of the length of time that you have been gone that first time you walk back in as a new “employee,” the emotions will strike you this is not “home” anymore. Indeed, was it ever? Often it takes at least a week to establish a routine sometimes even a month to feel reengaged; and it may never feel like “home” again. It can and may feel somewhat familiar, but all too often that feeling of emotional attachment has been lost. It is akin to having the umbilical cord cut again. Indeed, there are times when you never do. You may have become a “stranger in a familiar land” (apologies to both the bible and Robert Heinlein.) Most often the lot, building and even the offices are the same, but the people, mission and atmosphere are not “what they should be.” “Yes, Dorothy, you got to Oz” only to have found that the Wizard is this little old man behind a curtain. He is not the visage that had found before the disillusionment of disengagement set in. You job is to settle in and work with that same passion and zeal that you had before the “rude” interruption occurred. The most telling of these peculiar times is when you are working in a consultant’s, contract or temporary basis.

As we said above, the longer you are away from a former employer or the longer you are in pursuit of re-engagement more difficult reattachment feelings become. This feeling of alienation is caused partly because of the time away and partly because of the emotional dislocation or transition costs. It is almost as if the first rejection isn't always felt personally and not professional. Regardless of the rationalization, it is still quite impactful.

Please remember, that many of the same feelings enunciated above also occur when starting a new job also. It does get better, but only with time. Especially if you re-enter working a t a different level than before you left.

We are after all human. It is ok, it is normal and it will get better.

Bruce